Idle and Blessed

My roommate and I have been talking lately about whether or not God does big things in our lives. Of course, my first reaction is always to say "He does!" but when I start naming those things, they're usually not exactly big things. They are small things. Small things that meet me and my life at the exact right moment in time to become big things to me, when all outside eyes would say they're small. And to be honest, most of the big things God does in my life are centered around Russia. He provides financially in the oddest, most mind-blowing and humbling ways. He puts a safeguard of protection around me, even in dangerous situations when I have no one on my side. He has given me deep relationships against all odds and through language buriers, helped me learn Russian, and done BIG things in lots of hearts and minds. I've been able to witness lives literally changed 180 degrees. I've been able to witness God's kingdom growing with each child I've led...

4 days. 4! Always at this point in the journey I hear a voice in my heart saying, "I am not unprepared for this." He has prepared me well. Anointed me for such a time as this. The to-dos and packing lists and shopping lists and last-minutes are there, looming, but my sanity is still intact. It's all doable. I should've started these things a week ago, but still...doable. This summer has been about letting the dirt settle and the water become clear. Resting from the good things. Getting lost in pastimes, songs I love, dirt trails, and iced coffees. Finding truth in lyrics instead of thick books. Talking to God in my car. Eating at the farmers market. Running along to new playlists. Simplicity. I suppose this is what a Sabbath season is like. And after the past two summers and three school years, it's much needed. But I miss speaking Russian and hearing it and being in the thick of it all. In the middle of all the work, heartache, effort, pain, joy, and ...

"We must never bypass the law and come straight to the gospel.  To do so is to contradict the plan of God in biblical history.  Is this not why the gospel is unappreciated today?  Some ignore it, others ridicule it.  So in our modern evangelism we cast our pearls (the costliest pearl being the gospel) before swine.  People cannot see the beauty of the pearl, because they have no conception of the filth of the pigsty.  No man has ever appreciated the gospel until the law has first revealed him to himself.  It is only against the inky blackness of the night sky that the stars begin to appear, and it is only against the dark background of sin that the gospel shines forth.  Not until the law has bruised and smitten us will we admit our need of the gospel to bind up our wounds.  Not until the law has arrested and imprisoned us will we pine for Christ to set us free.  Not until the law has condemned and killed us will we call upon Christ for j...

Much of this past week has been spent in Russia planning mode. A few quick updates for you: We leave July 20 with a team of 8. We'll meet a 9th team member in Moscow. From there it will be camp as usual (in Dombai like last year...hello altitude sickness!), just with a smaller team and hopefully some new creative ideas on our part. Aaron, Hunter, Ms. Lori, and I are waist-deep in kids curriculum planning. Our theme is The Miracles of Jesus, including stories like Lazarus, the blind man, turning water to wine, etc. It seems like a pretty straight forward idea, but we are trying to beef it up with a deeper look into the physical v. spiritual realities in the miracle stories. My biggest challenge is making the lessons relatable to the wide range of ages we have...challenging the older ones without losing the younger ones. I've been asking the Lord for wisdom to understand the deeper messages of the stories and relay them in a way that is faithful to the account, yet understand...

Parker Palmer, in his little book on vocation, asks this question of those looking for their life's work: What is it that you can't not do? I may be a religion major soon(ish) to graduate, I may have taken all 528 of Belmont's vocation-related courses (seriously, almost), and I may be required to attend 2 seminars each year on ministry as vocation, but nothing I've heard has stuck with me like that little question. Not that I ever had an answer for it. From the very beginning of college, when I took Vocation and the Christian Life with Dr. Skeen, I've been asking myself, "Where does my deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet?" echoing Buechner's Wishful Thinking . I am only 18...19...20, I thought. I don't know the answer to that yet. We are silly creatures. This week I reconnected with two people doing the mission work I do in Russia, except cooler and better. To make a long story short, I want their lives. And I want to get to...

Summer is in full swing here in Nashville. It's already too hot to be outside in the afternoons, the pools are open, farmers markets are multiplying, and kids are out of school. I love spending the summer in Nashville at my apartment, working and nannying and generally planning my own days. I daily wish I could go back to the beach, but I have to admit, life isn't so bad even amidst the daily grind. I have more autonomy in my job(s) than ever before, and I have a really sweet little community here. And to be honest, this is my last summer of undergrad, and by golly I will go to the pool and sleep in as many times as I want. But for me, above all summer means Russia, and Russia preparations are well underway. We leave July 20th, and between now and then I have to apply for my visa, choose kids curriculum, and start planning for a week of teaching beautiful Russian kiddos. Happy. I need so much prayer, though. Since this is only a 10-day trip, my tendency is to take it mor...

I visited a friend the other day. I have some friends that bring out my sage qualities, and he's one of them. Whenever we talk, I find myself saying really wise things like, "There's a certain point where you have to start chasing what you want in life instead of waiting for it to come to you," or asking things like, "If you could go back, what would you tell your 18 year old self?" I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm responding to his need for a therapist by becoming one. I'm sure that's a healthy response. Maybe I'm the one who needs a therapist. But I digress. I visited this friend, and I wasn't in a particularly talkative or peppy mood, so I just sort of stopped interjecting myself into the conversation. Stopped making an effort to squeeze in a sentence. And the interesting thing was, an hour went by where I hadn't expressed a single thought. I simply listened and nodded my head. I began to put more energy into this conversation...