Idle and Blessed

Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace! Hail the Son of Righteousness! Light and life to all He brings Ris'n with healing in His wings Mild He lays His glory by Born that man no more may die Born to raise the sons of earth Born to give them second birth Hark! The herald angels sing "Glory to the newborn King!" It's my favorite carol this year. Born to raise the sons of Earth! Born to give them second birth! Knee bent before us, offering a life together more abundant than any dream we might treasure. Confession: I still treasure some. I'm listening to London by Brandon Heath. I think I'm kicking and screaming in this London, fighting to be with my King and not injure myself running from Him. There's so much conflict. This I should expect, because the closer I lean into my King the more His enemy will hate me. But "Denial seems to be the word that makes it all go away." I deny because I am so worried about protecting myself and protecting others,...

I am a pretty princess. I am always extraordinary. I am captivating. I am lovely. I will be rescued by a handsome prince. I am pursued by the Lord. My emotions matter. I have a beauty to unveil that is all my own. My heart is a mirror of God's. I have wounds from the Evil One, the villain, and they matter. He wounds me because he fears me. I have an irreplaceable role to play in a great adventure. I have a motherly, nurturing soul. I am in repair. I am called to heal others. My King is enthralled by my beauty. I am feminine -- the crown of creation, the image of an intimate, relational, passionate, captivating God. The eyes of His heart are ever upon me. I was intended to allure the world to God. Satan hates me because I am beautiful. He fell because of his beauty and his revenge is to assault it -- in the world (fires, global warming, oil spills, pollution, CAFOs...) and in me. Satan hates me because I giv...

I am officially a second semester freshman! Half way done with my freshman year. 1/8 of the way to graduation (well probably not, with the way my four year plan is being thrown out the window, but still). I can't believe how swiftly time flies. I feel like Welcome Week was just the other week, with the exhausting schedule and insane ice breakers and Tower Teams making us feel like fifth graders at camp. As a side note, let me just say that college is a rip-off. This textbook price thing is a straight up terrorist plot to steal the money of innocent young adults. I quite like it here. I'm getting accustomed to the little indie girls and the guys who have better fashion sense than me. I think they're very cute and nice. Plus, free music everywhere. I think this artsiness is evening me out considerably, encouraging me to care less about my letter grade and more about my personal growth. I have changed so much. No more four/five year plans. No more obsession about grades. No mo...

...because I can't focus. I am a journaling, praying, Bible-reading, emailing, researching machine! I am a freedom fighter! A conquistador! On expedition for the Kingdom! Mom, if you're reading this, we'll talk about Russia when I come home. I'm 110% sure the Lord is calling me to spend this summer in Karachaevsk. Actually, more than this summer, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. God has been pursuing me and providing for me and blessing me more than ever. On Thursday He gave me a vision for spreading the Gospel to the two orphanages in K, working with the church's Sunday School, teaching English to whoever wants to learn. On Saturday I talked to Dinislam about it, and he was thrilled. He thinks there's plenty I could do over there. Viktor suggested I not drop out of school just yet :) So summer. I've emailed Wendy, Michelle, Kent, Walter and Natasja, PVS International, Brian, and Joel. I've talked to David, Lori, Anne, Viktor, Dinislam, ...

I can't even express everything I want to express tonight. It's too much and my brain is too fragile to do it justice. I know very few things for sure, but here's one of them: I am being called to Russia. No, I mean long-term. Kaleomai eis diakonian. And I've never felt more passionate about anything.