Missing Them...


Hey there, blogging world. Yes, I am still alive, although nearly buried alive in this thing called "sophomore year." I'm not sure how it happened, but all of the sudden all my classes are upper-level, I have two jobs, and am trying to keep some semblance of a social life. I'm pretty sure I've never been this busy before.

BUT God is still God, there is still hope, and I'm sure I'll find balance sooner or later.

I've been thinking about my Russian family nearly nonstop lately. Ok, it's not really just "lately" because I've been thinking about them since I started to get to know them in June. But I guess there was a little bit of a distraction period when I first moved back to Belmont. Plus, there's only so much the average college kid wants to hear about my time in Russia, so I haven't been talking too much about it here. My roommate reached her threshold about Day 2.

I've been internally processing a lot.

The news I received about the most recent church fire intensified my constant thoughts of them. I don't know why my reaction was to be afraid for them, because when I was there during the first fire, I wasn't scared at all. There's just something different about being an ocean, nine time zones, and a day-long communication gap away that changes things. (Mom, I'm starting to understand why you were so freaked out by the news that "Oh by the way, someone tried to burn down the church building here.") It's kind of a big deal.

So anyways, the news of the second fire, along with the Russia team reunion, finding some YouTube videos of the church post-fire and Dinislam speaking about it, and a strange emergence of a bunch of Russians around me has brought my Russian family to the forefront of my mind again.

I wonder if Timothy is walking. I wonder if accident-prone Vitalik has any more wounds from falling off his bike. I bet all the kiddos are back in school for the fall, and I bet they hate it and want to play outside. Except Vitalik, who loves school and has new school supplies from America.

I hope Tanya is still learning peacekeeping techniques from Natasja. I hope Sasha and Slavik are getting plenty of work. I miss Nadya and her yummy soups and talking in her kitchen. I want to go visit the orphans in the state orphanage and see how they are doing. I want to help with the cleanup in the church from the fire. I wonder how big baby Yesenia is, and if her family is getting close to moving into their new house.

It has been almost two months since I've seen them. In some ways it's hard to believe that I haven't been back for as much time as I was there. (Does that make sense?) I'm still not sure what the Lord did through me during that time. There is, however, plenty He has done IN me. It still looks to me as though He changed ME but didn't change THEM because of me. I hate that, but who am I to say? The Lord deemed it worth it to get me there and sustain me through those hard two months. I am His servant. I have no right to question Him.

All I know is that I love them. I miss them. I want to see them and talk to them in Russian. I want to know they are safe and growing and trusting. As much as it hurts to know I will never be in a place on earth where I am not longing for another part of it, I find purpose in knowing that is how the Lord feels for His people who are not with Him. I asked for His love for those people. He gave it. I just know He's doing something really big in my heart, preparing me for something I can't see yet. My Russia journey is not over.

Please join me in continuing to pray for my beautiful New Life Church family in Karachaevsk. For God's glory!

Jordan



"Anything else besides just going to these people is certainly not the commission of the Church." - Karl Barth

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