A New Year
My two greatest strengths are fear and planning.
Ok, yes, I know fear is not a good thing, but I'm super strong at it. So I'm still counting it...
Anyway, It follows that I absolutely adore New Years...all the resolutions, plans, and universal fear of those resolutions remaining unkept.
Michael asked us at church this weekend to think about three things that have sucked about 2010, and three ways the Lord has blessed us. As much as I love planning for the new year and looking ahead, looking back and reflecting is such a wonderful thing. I like to see growth in my life, the kind of growth that happens over whole years, so slowly it's not perceivable until you look way back on it. One of the most hopeless feelings to me is the feeling that nothing is ever going to change for the better, that I am never going to change for the better, or never going to be in the place I want to be. It's hard to still those thoughts without some kind of life experience indicating the opposite.
But I have changed so much in 2010, and even more if I look back on my life since high school graduation. Getting together with old friends over Christmas breaks always reminds me of that. It's like how you don't notice your own family getting older, but when other people grow up it blows your mind.
I don't think all of my changing has been good, really. But a lot of it has. God has taught me a lot this year. I've been through some really hard things with Him. Both Spring and Fall semesters were really difficult, and my summer in R was difficult times 5 million. Mom said yesterday, "I think everything in my life has happened for a reason. I just don't know what it is yet." Amen.
I don't know what it is that the Lord is pushing me towards or preparing me for, but I hope it's something really great. When I was in Russia, one of the most encouraging comments on my blog was from Larry, and it said, "God is forming your future right here in your present. He will never waste any pain. So any time that you hurt, are lonely, overwhelmed or homesick, be sure, that God will not waste any of it." Wow. Wow. Wow! Praise God, this is true.
In Haggai chapter 2, the Lord says to Israel (referring to the destroyed temple I think):
‘Who of you is left who saw this house in its former glory? How does it look to you now? Does it not seem to you like nothing? But now be strong, Zerubbabel,’ declares the LORD. ‘Be strong, Joshua son of Jozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people of the land,’ declares the LORD, ‘and work. For I am with you,’ declares the LORD Almighty. ‘This is what I covenanted with you when you came out of Egypt. And my Spirit remains among you. Do not fear.’ This is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘In a little while I will once more shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land. I will shake all nations, and what is desired by all nations will come, and I will fill this house with glory,’ says the LORD Almighty. ‘The silver is mine and the gold is mine,’ declares the LORD Almighty. ‘The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,’ says the LORD Almighty. ‘And in this place I will grant peace,’ declares the LORD Almighty.”
Yes, the temple was destroyed and the people were afraid, because life wasn't turning out like they thought. God Himself was "shaking the nations." And out of this chaos comes betterment.
The glory of this present house will be greater than the former house.
I'm still mulling over Michael's question of the three pains and three blessings of 2010, but even though the blessings will be a lot harder to find than the pains, I have hope. Because Jesus has been telling me there will be better things to come. Not only did He show me in Haggai last night, but almost every song I've listened to today has said something like it.
There's something inside that box you close
That only opens when your life explodes
On the other side, come home
From here on out you're just getting older
Pick up yourself, you keep getting closer
The future holds a brighter day for you
Lord, thank you for promising good things. Thank you for filling me up, letting me plan, holding me when the plans fall apart, and slowly, slowwwwwwwwly emptying me of fear. Slowly. Grow me in 2011, no matter what comes.
Ok, yes, I know fear is not a good thing, but I'm super strong at it. So I'm still counting it...
Anyway, It follows that I absolutely adore New Years...all the resolutions, plans, and universal fear of those resolutions remaining unkept.
Michael asked us at church this weekend to think about three things that have sucked about 2010, and three ways the Lord has blessed us. As much as I love planning for the new year and looking ahead, looking back and reflecting is such a wonderful thing. I like to see growth in my life, the kind of growth that happens over whole years, so slowly it's not perceivable until you look way back on it. One of the most hopeless feelings to me is the feeling that nothing is ever going to change for the better, that I am never going to change for the better, or never going to be in the place I want to be. It's hard to still those thoughts without some kind of life experience indicating the opposite.
But I have changed so much in 2010, and even more if I look back on my life since high school graduation. Getting together with old friends over Christmas breaks always reminds me of that. It's like how you don't notice your own family getting older, but when other people grow up it blows your mind.
I don't think all of my changing has been good, really. But a lot of it has. God has taught me a lot this year. I've been through some really hard things with Him. Both Spring and Fall semesters were really difficult, and my summer in R was difficult times 5 million. Mom said yesterday, "I think everything in my life has happened for a reason. I just don't know what it is yet." Amen.
I don't know what it is that the Lord is pushing me towards or preparing me for, but I hope it's something really great. When I was in Russia, one of the most encouraging comments on my blog was from Larry, and it said, "God is forming your future right here in your present. He will never waste any pain. So any time that you hurt, are lonely, overwhelmed or homesick, be sure, that God will not waste any of it." Wow. Wow. Wow! Praise God, this is true.
In Haggai chapter 2, the Lord says to Israel (referring to the destroyed temple I think):
‘Who of you is left who saw this house in its former glory? How does it look to you now? Does it not seem to you like nothing? But now be strong, Zerubbabel,’ declares the LORD. ‘Be strong, Joshua son of Jozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people of the land,’ declares the LORD, ‘and work. For I am with you,’ declares the LORD Almighty. ‘This is what I covenanted with you when you came out of Egypt. And my Spirit remains among you. Do not fear.’ This is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘In a little while I will once more shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land. I will shake all nations, and what is desired by all nations will come, and I will fill this house with glory,’ says the LORD Almighty. ‘The silver is mine and the gold is mine,’ declares the LORD Almighty. ‘The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,’ says the LORD Almighty. ‘And in this place I will grant peace,’ declares the LORD Almighty.”
Yes, the temple was destroyed and the people were afraid, because life wasn't turning out like they thought. God Himself was "shaking the nations." And out of this chaos comes betterment.
The glory of this present house will be greater than the former house.
I'm still mulling over Michael's question of the three pains and three blessings of 2010, but even though the blessings will be a lot harder to find than the pains, I have hope. Because Jesus has been telling me there will be better things to come. Not only did He show me in Haggai last night, but almost every song I've listened to today has said something like it.
There's something inside that box you close
That only opens when your life explodes
On the other side, come home
From here on out you're just getting older
Pick up yourself, you keep getting closer
The future holds a brighter day for you
Lord, thank you for promising good things. Thank you for filling me up, letting me plan, holding me when the plans fall apart, and slowly, slowwwwwwwwly emptying me of fear. Slowly. Grow me in 2011, no matter what comes.
Comments
Post a Comment