Panic

I don't know if everyone feels darkness roll in like a raincloud some days. But I do.

Sometimes it's the tiniest thing that sets it off, a phrase someone uses or the song on the radio. Out of nowhere things get dark and I realize all is not well, and I am not who I should be, and the world is truly, hugely, desperately not right.

Anxiety and dread sit on my lungs and in my stomach; they tell me "it will not be ok." My optimistic soul doesn't hear them often. Just the raincloud days.

On some of those days I get lost in that darkness, drive around for hours, or run till my thoughts form a straight line and I can breathe again. On other days I let my best friend tell me "it will get better" and believe her, and I floss my teeth and go to bed.

Because it's just rain, and tomorrow the sky may be sunny again.

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