Anxiety (1): Running Through It

Heart pounding in my ears
Skipping
LOUD then skip, then 
POUND then skip, then
Lungs not filling
Air too thin
Oh no, is this it?

Sweat pouring down my chest
My hands
My feet
My armpits, my back
Too hot out here
A blanket over my head
The air all used up

Spots in my eyes
And blurry
And narrow
I blink and I blink
Is this my imagination?
Is it fear?
Migraine?

I can’t see the periphery
My skin is crawling
I am spiraling
I will die
No
What can I see?
Can I hear?

Nothing
At first, then 
There’s a bird there
And there, and
I see a branch
Root, leaf
Hear the water

Smell, taste, feel?
Wind, a bug
Footsteps quick
Each one sounds different
Rocky, then
Crunching, then
Crashing, and

I’m hitting earth here
Now and 
Now and 
Now
Solid
Good
Solid, is good

Can I feel the air?
It’s on my legs
Oh, my arms
My face
Good
I feel weak
Ok

I feel scared
Ok
I feel my heart
Good
Breathing

Hearing a bird
Hearing a squirrel
Feeling a bug
Smelling the dirt
Pain
Where?
My legs
Ok

Running
I’m running
Still moving
In charge
Hearing
Feeling
Back on earth

Nothing is fixed

But

I did not die,
today

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