Transition, Like Always
I'm officially done with my sophomore year of college. Exams are done, papers are done, friends are dispersed for the summer (or some for good), the dorm is empty, and my stuff is moved back into my room at home. Last year this time I had a 3-month visa to Russia and a suitcase already being packed. I was glad to know I'd never be a college freshman again, glad to know I was a fourth of the way done so I could just think about mission work.
This year I'm stalling on the decision of whether or not to apply for an extended visa, sad to know I'll never be an underclassman again (well, kinda sad...), and amazed that I'm already half way done with undergrad.
People say your freshman year is the most formative, but I have to disagree. My sophomore year was by far the most formative of the two. Thank goodness I met Micah early in the year, who told me it was normal to have a complete crisis of existence as a sophomore. There were times I wanted to transfer, times I wanted to start over and make completely new friends, times I wanted to drop out and move to Karachaevsk, times I thought I would never understand myself or hear God again.
It's just weird to think some of my friends are graduating, getting married, moving out of state, weird to think that will be me and the rest of my friends in only two years. By now Belmont is home, Nashville is home, and I can't imagine being somewhere different. I can't imagine what my life would be like if God hadn't told me no when I wanted to go to Duke, or Vanderbilt. I get settled and attached to places too easily, probably. I've never been good at living life somewhere, then leaving and never looking back. I love where I grew up, I hope I always keep going back to Karachaevsk, and Nashville will stay in my blood for a really long time if I ever move away.
That's probably why I am in awe of people who grew up on the West Coast or somewhere and then come to Belmont and never go home. They're crazy.
Anyway, I'm still mentally blocking the fact that some awesome people are walking across the stage Saturday and leaving Nashville. Mentally blocking the fact that from now on the number of people doing that will keep increasing. I don't mean to be depressing, I mean, I'm well aware that I will continue to shift friend groups throughout life and that's not a bad thing, but it's not easy to watch some seniors who have impacted me so much graduate.
I'm not sure what this summer will bring for me exactly, because I don't know when I'm going to Russia. If I just go on the Family Camp trip, I will be working and living at home all summer until then. If I go a few weeks before camp, maybe I'll be in Karachaevsk for July. I just haven't heard God say anything about it, so I'm in the process of waiting and listening.
If you think about it, could you ask God to make Himself clear to me? I'll be simply waiting here until He does.
To those who are graduating: congrats and I'll miss you lots. Visiting is necessary. To those who are leaving for the summer and/or studying abroad next year: please be safe and get on facebook sometimes. Enjoy the blessings of following God's wonderful plans for you, which are especially rich when it means following Him to the ends of the earth. It's a great thing, isn't it? :)
Wow, how scatterbrained this post is. I'll leave it that way, since it's pretty much representational of my life right now. Ha!
This year I'm stalling on the decision of whether or not to apply for an extended visa, sad to know I'll never be an underclassman again (well, kinda sad...), and amazed that I'm already half way done with undergrad.
People say your freshman year is the most formative, but I have to disagree. My sophomore year was by far the most formative of the two. Thank goodness I met Micah early in the year, who told me it was normal to have a complete crisis of existence as a sophomore. There were times I wanted to transfer, times I wanted to start over and make completely new friends, times I wanted to drop out and move to Karachaevsk, times I thought I would never understand myself or hear God again.
It's just weird to think some of my friends are graduating, getting married, moving out of state, weird to think that will be me and the rest of my friends in only two years. By now Belmont is home, Nashville is home, and I can't imagine being somewhere different. I can't imagine what my life would be like if God hadn't told me no when I wanted to go to Duke, or Vanderbilt. I get settled and attached to places too easily, probably. I've never been good at living life somewhere, then leaving and never looking back. I love where I grew up, I hope I always keep going back to Karachaevsk, and Nashville will stay in my blood for a really long time if I ever move away.
That's probably why I am in awe of people who grew up on the West Coast or somewhere and then come to Belmont and never go home. They're crazy.
Anyway, I'm still mentally blocking the fact that some awesome people are walking across the stage Saturday and leaving Nashville. Mentally blocking the fact that from now on the number of people doing that will keep increasing. I don't mean to be depressing, I mean, I'm well aware that I will continue to shift friend groups throughout life and that's not a bad thing, but it's not easy to watch some seniors who have impacted me so much graduate.
I'm not sure what this summer will bring for me exactly, because I don't know when I'm going to Russia. If I just go on the Family Camp trip, I will be working and living at home all summer until then. If I go a few weeks before camp, maybe I'll be in Karachaevsk for July. I just haven't heard God say anything about it, so I'm in the process of waiting and listening.
If you think about it, could you ask God to make Himself clear to me? I'll be simply waiting here until He does.
To those who are graduating: congrats and I'll miss you lots. Visiting is necessary. To those who are leaving for the summer and/or studying abroad next year: please be safe and get on facebook sometimes. Enjoy the blessings of following God's wonderful plans for you, which are especially rich when it means following Him to the ends of the earth. It's a great thing, isn't it? :)
Wow, how scatterbrained this post is. I'll leave it that way, since it's pretty much representational of my life right now. Ha!
I can't decide which emoticon to post--a smiling one or a frowning one. What a modern dilemma to be in. Anyways, I'm going to miss you too. Leaving though feels a lot different than being left though, I understand. I'll visit and you'll visit too, like you said!
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