I don't understand how God works.

I sit on the asphalt under a streetlight and Sarah holds me together, picking up the pieces.

I drive my car slow, with the windows down to feel the 35 degree air.

I lay down with my kitten next to me and she sleeps the day away.

It's not my job to understand.

I skip some classes and drink coffee, thanking God the sun exists. I take more time than usual to talk to good friends in quiet voices. I do what I need to do, then I run a few miles or eight. 

I cannot reconcile ultimate things.

I check twitter a thousand times each day. I don't wait for God to speak from the sky; I notice the hidden things. I burn incense and walk dogs in the rain, and I speak when I have something to say. The trees are red and the sky is blue and sometimes the windows fog up at night. Winter is coming.

It's Jesus' job to reconcile.

I am a new creature every day yet also the same. I feel everything and know nothing. Experiences enter me and settle in my stomach; for better or worse, I am this.

It's my job to sit and be. It's my job to be.

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