Idle and Blessed

From Jesus and the Disinherited, by Howard Therman, pp. 105-106: One day a woman was brought to Jesus. She has been caught in the act of adultery. The spokesman for the group who brought her said she was caught red-handed and that according to the law she should be stoned to death. "What is your judgement?" was their searching question. To them the woman was not a woman, or even a person, but an adulteress, stripped of her essential dignity and worth. Said Jesus: "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone." After that, he implied, any person may throw. The quiet words exploded the situation, and in the piercing glare each man saw himself in his literal substance. In that moment each was not a judge of another's deeds, but of his own. In the same glare the adulteress saw herself as merely a woman involved in the meshes in a struggle with her own elemental passion. Jesus, always the gentleman, did not look at the woman as she stood before him...

Despite a summer full of reasons to think it wouldn't happen, it is actually the case that I have been living in Georgia for 11 days. It is also the case that I have a great house, great job, great car, and really great classes starting tomorrow. Dear self three months ago: you have no idea. It really is a miracle that I am here. This summer was disastrous and hard and discouraging, full of mountains to climb and clouds covering the sun. I couldn't find an affordable apartment in all of Atlanta and I didn't have a way to support myself when I got here. My Jetta was breaking down for a different reason every week, and I was already out of money to repair it. My cat got fleas again and they invaded our apartment. I had to get rid of the cat. It was my first summer in 8 years not going to Russia. There were flat tires, coolant leaks, unexpected bills, overheating in traffic, a bad alternator, sad goodbyes, family tension, and uncertainty. I'll suffice it to say it ...

I didn't necessarily think this day would come, but it did. The day I would really hate to leave all the kids I've taken care of this summer. As many times as I gave endless "underdogs" on the swings, as many times as I built lego cars and tucked in baby dolls, as many times as I heated bottles and rocked to sleep, I'm sad it's over. I'll miss questions like, "Miss Jordan, if I touch poison ivy with my Spiderman glove on, will it still hurt me?" And, "If I swing really high, will I touch God?" I'll miss Coen's insistence that the "trees and sky and house talk to him." What do they say, Coen? "Just, like, hi and stuff." I believe the sky probably does talk to him, and I wish I would pay attention enough to hear like that. I'll miss you little ones.

The Russia team is currently somewhere in the space between Nashville International and the foothills of the Caucasus Mountains. If I close my eyes I can see what they’re seeing, as they get off that cramped 9-hour flight and make their way through customs in a dim fluorescent hallway. They hear a foreign language; they search for luggage with sleepy eyes. They count heads and move out toward the sunlight and mild summer air of Moscow, trying to decide between sleep and exploring the new-yet-familiar world of the Capital City. I can see what those gray streets look like, what the Kremlin looks like at night all lit up in lights; I can hear the Red Square clock chiming. I can feel the whoosh of air in the underground Metro, and the embrace of dear friends I’ve not seen in a year. The dear Moscow-dwelling friends who’ve been the hands of God to me since before I understood a word of their language, or they of mine. I know the terror of the Aeroflot plane...

The best thing about running a loop is starting and ending in the same spot. The best thing about starting and ending in the same spot is that you know no matter how steep the hills, no matter how hard, you always get to go down the other side. Net elevation gain zero. Right now I'm running up a life hill, steep and rocky. I can't see the top and it feels like I've been doing more uphill than downhill lately. But the Bible says the story started in a place called Eden, and it says we'll end up in Eden too. I believe God means to tell us it will all be made right and all these uphills have other sides to them. Net elevation gain zero. "And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed. And out of the ground the Lord God make to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was in the midst of the garden , and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil." Genesis 2:8...

If you're ever wondering if God exists, go outside when the air gets cool, when the crickets start singing, and sit still. Look out over the earth, to the horizon where the black trees have for their outline a sky that's halfway between night and day, and sit still. Watch the blackness get deeper and hear the bullfrogs start talking down by the water and notice how the world lights up with tiny fireflies everywhere. See the fireflies? Then, believe.

Sometimes I walk dogs and sometimes I take care of children and what I have realized is we have a lot to learn from them. For instance, when I’m holding onto a leash and I say it’s safe to cross the street, the dog doesn’t question that; he crosses. He doesn’t start to get creative and independent in the thinking and decide I might be tricking him. He doesn’t think I’m probably leading him into danger because he needs to learn a lesson; he doesn’t assume getting run over by a car is my hope for him. Maybe he’s just clued into the fact that I would get hit by the car too, so I’ll be really careful. I don’t know. I just know he trusts my timing. Also, he follows me around the house. I’m talking everywhere . I put my glass in the sink, he comes. I brush my teeth, he comes. I go to the table to study, he comes. Watching TV, he’s at my feet. Go make dinner, at my feet. This is a creature completely in tune with my presence, completely in tune with my actions and voice a...