Goals, Worry, and Some Other Things

So much to do in the next 5 days!

Tuesday I have to call the visa company because they didn't send me all my paperwork (of course :) ). My visa looks alright, but I'm worried because there isn't a letter of invitation anywhere. The good news is that it should be easy to get it emailed to me before Friday.

Wednesday and Thursday will be packing/praying/spending time with family days. And Friday bright and early, I'll head to the airport!

I really can't express the faithfulness of God in this process. He provided over $2,000 in one week. He has connected me with two incredible bodies of believers who are supporting and sending me, not just in words, but in action and tangible love. God has provided the little things, like a video camera and a world phone. There are a million little stories I could share of the Holy Spirit connecting dots and working on my behalf.

Almost six months ago, I wrote down some goals for this trip in my prayer journal:

Love on some people.
Serve some people.
Learn some Russian language/culture.
Connect with some believers.
Aid believers in some outreach efforts.
Do some teaching.
Love on those orphans.

Today I have the same goals, and even some ideas about what it will look like to meet them. Praise God for His faithfulness and His peace, and for so many beautiful hearts who are invested in me and in this ministry. Without all of you I would not have the courage, security, and assurance I have now.

My biggest lingering fear (travel aside) has to do with the unknown. There is much I do not know. The next two months of my life are not clear before me, they are blurry and vague. I know I will be in Karachaevsk, and that's about it. And in my humanity, that scares me a little.

Some dear friends told me last week that "God illuminates our paths gradually. If He lit it all at once we would be blinded by it all -- overwhelmed, scared, paralyzed. Instead he lights it a little at a time, as we become ready for the next steps."

I'm not ready to see my path so clearly yet. The beautiful, joyful, peaceful thing about this place is that I get to live in these moments. Step by step with the Lord. If only I'll choose to do so, instead of spending my moments in worry and questioning about the part of the path I can't see yet. If only I'll choose to take the focus off of myself, my worry, and instead find Jesus in everything. I pray for the eternally-mindedness to recognize an opportunity in every situation, conversation, and smile I encounter these next two months...and beyond.

I think worry, in part, is rebellion against what God has chosen to reveal to me at a certain time. Worry is wanting more of my path lit so I can prepare or fix things. There's a reason Jesus said not to worry. He is much better at preparing and fixing things than we are. :)



I'm going to be as diligent about updating this as possible, now and when I'm in Russia. Please feel free to comment. I appreciate all of you coming and reading about what Christ is doing in and around me! With love,

Jordan

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