Practice in Selflessness
It's a hot day today in Karachaevsk. I feel like taking a long nap and finding someone to talk to in English.
Today I saw a rich man's house being built near the center of town. Din has been doing some construction work there. The Italian tile in one of his three bathrooms cost more than six month's food for a family here. The indoor swimming pool he's putting in upstairs will be incredible, as will the big fireplace in the living room that has floor-to-ceiling windows.
I'm tired today, so as we walked around the house I couldn't form any sentences. My Russian is the first thing to go when I'm tired. But the voice in my head was loud, wondering why a person could need something like that in a city like this. Down the street children play in the street with no shoes. 5 minutes down the road, old widowed women live alone surviving on the food they grow in their gardens. I wonder if that rich man cares much. I wonder if I'm any different.
I constantly fight my selfishness. This morning I ate breakfast, played Uno with the boys, and couldn't stay awake. I went back to bed. 10 minutes later, Din shows up at the door to take me to see various things, do various things -- my day having already been planned in his head.
I was inwardly angry. At home I'm the same way: I like to make my own plans and stick to them. Other people choosing for me makes me bitter. So today God gave me a chance to practice being unselfish. I did my best.
I met Dinislam's mother, a recovering alcoholic who may soon accept Christ.
I saw the tiny, dirty house Din's family will soon move into. The house where now live his mom and three other people from the Rehab Center who are adjusting back to normal life.
And I saw that huge expensive house with a swimming pool, and I know Christ was showing me what was in my heart. Selfishness, laziness, greed. Soon I'll be tired of being tired, feeling sick, being allergic to the plants outside, not being able to communicate well -- and I'll go home to Nashville. I hope someday the Lord works in my heart to change me enough to where I don't just get my fill of being uncomfortable and leave. I hope someday the Lord makes me long-suffering, and places in me not just a desire to go somewhere and help for a summer, but an ability to go somewhere and live for His glory every day. I don't know what that will look like, but I'm pretty sure it won't look like that house I saw today.
Nadya was telling me yesterday about a little girl at an orphanage she met one time. The little girl was severely deformed because her mother threw her down a trash shoot in her apartment right after she was born. The girl couldn't walk, but she was extremely smart, and could write and play the piano beautifully. Nadya and Sasha told me all about orphanages here, about how only 2% of orphans come out of orphanages with jobs or families. About how children older than 2 or 3 rarely are adopted. It's a horrible thing, something I would never know if I hadn't been here and listened to the stories, but it gives me a lot of hope to see people like Nadya visiting those orphanages and caring for those kids.
God stirs hearts. The church here is growing. People are being rescued out of pits of alcoholism, prostitution, poverty, and more. Families like the one I'm living with now know about adoption, the need for it, the difficulty of it, and the culture is starting to change. The camps we put on here are famous, because people come and are changed. The kids remember things I said or taught them that I have long forgotten. Who knows what kind of impact these camps will have long-term?
New Life Church is starting to send out missionaries into the Caucuses. Can you believe that?
I'm so excited about all of it. My time here is never without struggles, but I'm praying for more of God's heart, more of his selflessness and vision. For more understanding of His Word.
Today there will be a baby shower for a few women from church. Tomorrow Lianna turns 8. Sunday I'll teach Sunday School - I'll have the older group all by myself. Sunday night, late, the American team arrives, and I'll translate for Nadya and Sasha when they talk to Kent. Monday we start camp week.
Please join me in prayer for all of this, and praise for everything our God is doing!
Today I saw a rich man's house being built near the center of town. Din has been doing some construction work there. The Italian tile in one of his three bathrooms cost more than six month's food for a family here. The indoor swimming pool he's putting in upstairs will be incredible, as will the big fireplace in the living room that has floor-to-ceiling windows.
I'm tired today, so as we walked around the house I couldn't form any sentences. My Russian is the first thing to go when I'm tired. But the voice in my head was loud, wondering why a person could need something like that in a city like this. Down the street children play in the street with no shoes. 5 minutes down the road, old widowed women live alone surviving on the food they grow in their gardens. I wonder if that rich man cares much. I wonder if I'm any different.
I constantly fight my selfishness. This morning I ate breakfast, played Uno with the boys, and couldn't stay awake. I went back to bed. 10 minutes later, Din shows up at the door to take me to see various things, do various things -- my day having already been planned in his head.
I was inwardly angry. At home I'm the same way: I like to make my own plans and stick to them. Other people choosing for me makes me bitter. So today God gave me a chance to practice being unselfish. I did my best.
I met Dinislam's mother, a recovering alcoholic who may soon accept Christ.
I saw the tiny, dirty house Din's family will soon move into. The house where now live his mom and three other people from the Rehab Center who are adjusting back to normal life.
And I saw that huge expensive house with a swimming pool, and I know Christ was showing me what was in my heart. Selfishness, laziness, greed. Soon I'll be tired of being tired, feeling sick, being allergic to the plants outside, not being able to communicate well -- and I'll go home to Nashville. I hope someday the Lord works in my heart to change me enough to where I don't just get my fill of being uncomfortable and leave. I hope someday the Lord makes me long-suffering, and places in me not just a desire to go somewhere and help for a summer, but an ability to go somewhere and live for His glory every day. I don't know what that will look like, but I'm pretty sure it won't look like that house I saw today.
Nadya was telling me yesterday about a little girl at an orphanage she met one time. The little girl was severely deformed because her mother threw her down a trash shoot in her apartment right after she was born. The girl couldn't walk, but she was extremely smart, and could write and play the piano beautifully. Nadya and Sasha told me all about orphanages here, about how only 2% of orphans come out of orphanages with jobs or families. About how children older than 2 or 3 rarely are adopted. It's a horrible thing, something I would never know if I hadn't been here and listened to the stories, but it gives me a lot of hope to see people like Nadya visiting those orphanages and caring for those kids.
God stirs hearts. The church here is growing. People are being rescued out of pits of alcoholism, prostitution, poverty, and more. Families like the one I'm living with now know about adoption, the need for it, the difficulty of it, and the culture is starting to change. The camps we put on here are famous, because people come and are changed. The kids remember things I said or taught them that I have long forgotten. Who knows what kind of impact these camps will have long-term?
New Life Church is starting to send out missionaries into the Caucuses. Can you believe that?
I'm so excited about all of it. My time here is never without struggles, but I'm praying for more of God's heart, more of his selflessness and vision. For more understanding of His Word.
Today there will be a baby shower for a few women from church. Tomorrow Lianna turns 8. Sunday I'll teach Sunday School - I'll have the older group all by myself. Sunday night, late, the American team arrives, and I'll translate for Nadya and Sasha when they talk to Kent. Monday we start camp week.
Please join me in prayer for all of this, and praise for everything our God is doing!
Loved your update...thanks for being so honest and real about your struggles. Excited for the team to arrive Sunday!! I'm sending a few gifts for the ladies with the team and am sad I won't be the one delivering them this year. Praying for you, sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteWe should get coffee and talk in Nashville this fall---I experienced so much of this in Germany and it's encouraging to hear another perspective! Praying for you Jordan. You're an incredible woman and Jesus is most assuredly using you to shine forth His love and hope to a hungry culture. :)
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