To The Freshman Me
Things have been happening pretty quickly around here. New semester, new responsibilities, new opportunities. We even have a new kitten.
Long story.
But it's good to be back in the classroom again. I'm like a fish back in water, my mom said. Translating Hebrew, talking about world religions, studying Scripture and philosophy. When I'm back in school I feel like this is only the beginning. Belmont has helped me ask questions, helped me deform and melt down, opened me to begin building on my foundation again. I really believe Divinity School is next for me. I've learned to be critical of everything; now it's time to trust a belief system again.
Other religion majors will understand this, and everyone else might be really confused. Apologies.
But since it's my senior year (too soon in a lot of ways), I've been thinking back to when I first got here, and the things I wish I would've known then. I know I'm a different person than I was at 18, when I showed up for Welcome Week and moved into Wright Hall over by the soccer fields.
I wish I would've known choosing that Christian Ethics major was going to be the beginning of a journey I could never take back. That studying theology is not receiving answers, but finding more questions - sometimes the deepest, most gut-wrenching questions of life.
I wish I would've known to enjoy eating at the Caf, because life doesn't get much simpler than people cooking every meal for you. Even if it's cafeteria food.
I wish I would've known that every roommate is temporary, so it's ok to dislike them, but more importantly, get to know them.
I wish I would've known to save the fun classes for senior year, and to savor every moment of a class with Guthrie, Skeen, or Byrd.
I wish I would've been more appreciative of the miracle that is Tennessee. Because fireflies don't live everywhere, and the weather isn't this awesome everywhere, and not every city has Percy Warner parks.
I wish I would've known meltdowns were going to be a regular college life occurrence, and that they always end more positively if you let people sit there in the stairwell/car/roof with you. Driving around by yourself while crying is absolutely the most dangerous and depressing way to have a meltdown.
I wish I would've known having your best friends all living on the same campus as you is miraculous and life doesn't get much more fun than that.
I wish I would've known boys are full of s*** 90% of the time. It's good and necessary to keep them around, but they're full of it...end of story.
And I wish I would've known not to fear the outcome. Not to fear what the university was doing to me. Because God began a good work in me long ago, and college - even with its ups and downs - brings me one step closer to the completion of it.
Here's to my senior year of college. :)
Long story.
But it's good to be back in the classroom again. I'm like a fish back in water, my mom said. Translating Hebrew, talking about world religions, studying Scripture and philosophy. When I'm back in school I feel like this is only the beginning. Belmont has helped me ask questions, helped me deform and melt down, opened me to begin building on my foundation again. I really believe Divinity School is next for me. I've learned to be critical of everything; now it's time to trust a belief system again.
Other religion majors will understand this, and everyone else might be really confused. Apologies.
But since it's my senior year (too soon in a lot of ways), I've been thinking back to when I first got here, and the things I wish I would've known then. I know I'm a different person than I was at 18, when I showed up for Welcome Week and moved into Wright Hall over by the soccer fields.
I wish I would've known choosing that Christian Ethics major was going to be the beginning of a journey I could never take back. That studying theology is not receiving answers, but finding more questions - sometimes the deepest, most gut-wrenching questions of life.
I wish I would've known to enjoy eating at the Caf, because life doesn't get much simpler than people cooking every meal for you. Even if it's cafeteria food.
I wish I would've known that every roommate is temporary, so it's ok to dislike them, but more importantly, get to know them.
I wish I would've known to save the fun classes for senior year, and to savor every moment of a class with Guthrie, Skeen, or Byrd.
I wish I would've been more appreciative of the miracle that is Tennessee. Because fireflies don't live everywhere, and the weather isn't this awesome everywhere, and not every city has Percy Warner parks.
I wish I would've known meltdowns were going to be a regular college life occurrence, and that they always end more positively if you let people sit there in the stairwell/car/roof with you. Driving around by yourself while crying is absolutely the most dangerous and depressing way to have a meltdown.
I wish I would've known having your best friends all living on the same campus as you is miraculous and life doesn't get much more fun than that.
I wish I would've known boys are full of s*** 90% of the time. It's good and necessary to keep them around, but they're full of it...end of story.
And I wish I would've known not to fear the outcome. Not to fear what the university was doing to me. Because God began a good work in me long ago, and college - even with its ups and downs - brings me one step closer to the completion of it.
Here's to my senior year of college. :)
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