My Love Letter

I need a day.

Just a day, to sit down on my extra long twin mattress, with my Bible and my thoughts and my journal. Because I'm so out of touch with myself and the lessons God is teaching me. Life runs hard and fast and I lose track of the hours too easily.

When I'm walking across the quad and the wind kicks up, when the leaves flutter and fall, I can feel my Jesus. I'm so grateful for that, because I'm coming out of a time of silence from the Lord, and feeling Him say "I love you" makes breathing easier. Doesn't He know I need to hear Him say "I love you?" Doesn't He know I need to hear Him say "You're beloved, you're beautiful, I am enthralled by you?" Of course He does, and He said those things before I was born - He left them for me in the Bible. My own love letter. God does that a lot: He provides before anything is needed.

Anna said yesterday "God is the perfect father." When we talked about what that means, it was impactful for me. I've learned to pay attention to recurring themes in my life, and this is one of them. God is the perfect father, because there's not a hole in me He didn't create to fill himself. He tells me what I need to hear...the problem comes in when I'm not listening. Lord, grant me ears to hear and eyes to see You.

But back to the Bible. Taking an Old Testament class is the single greatest thing I've done for my understanding of the Bible. I am amazed every class time at the complexity and the beauty of the Old Testament, and it's making me fall in love with the Lord even more. Did you know the Bible is a love story? Pick it up and look through it, starting from the beginning. It starts at infancy, with simple bedtime stories about how much God loves you. They are 100% true, and they're true because He loved you enough to make a world (even the scary parts - the Gen. 1:21 sea monsters) and make YOU and tell you why. Then comes adolescence. Sin, rebellion, error. Punishment. It's almost like there are two stories going on here - one between lovers and one between parent and child. Your parent sees your sins and tells you they're wrong, but never ever rejects you. Then comes the Exodus, when Israel is being wooed by God, then enters into covenant relationship. It's a marriage. Just like Hosea. Wisdom Literature is next...Job, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes. I see these books as the middle aged identity crisis. What's the meaning of life? How should we live?

I know I'm rambling. These are just my cloudy thoughts on what I'm learning. :) There's so much more, but that's enough for one blog post I think. Until tomorrow~

HIS,
Jordan

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