Reflections on Roommates

I have to admit I am not fun to live with. I am easily frustrated by people. But for living in the same room with two other girls for the past 4 and a half months, I think I've been doing exceptionally well. I mean, I've never, like, gone on a murder rampage or anything. I think my roomies might actually like me.

But I haven't liked them the past two days. Michelle and I are both pretty strong-willed, and when she wants to watch So You Think You Can Dance and I want to watch Tabitha's Salon Takeover, staring contests and whocanstandtaller competitions ensue. (True story)

Yes, we are mostly joking about our little tiffs. But they're really starting to get to me, and her ways of singing after midnight, keeping lights on all night, and yelling at me to wake up in the morning are not as cute anymore.

Oh, and she makes a mess.

Thank God for Rachel. Seriously, she has taken my usual place as peacekeeper. But I sure did get annoyed with her talking to her boyfriend so long while I was trying to watch Project Runway last night.

I've come to realize these past few months that living with people is really hard. It's hard for me to not be alone sometimes. It's hard for me to always listen to their music. It's hard for me to understand why they insist on being nocturnal.

I wonder what bothers them about me.

Because am I any better? What makes me think I'm above living in a dorm? The Lord puts up with so much crap from me every day. How does He feel when I sleep instead of reading my Bible? How does He feel when I am too afraid to share Him with the world? How does He feel when I get caught in those sins over and over again when I know better?

It's amazing that YHWH never said to Israel, "I'm done dealing with you. I'm getting a new nation next semester." Because that's definitely what my heart says to my roommates if I'm not careful. Lord, grant me your patience and grace to love Michelle and Rachel like you love them. Give me your gentleness and self-control. I am not like you, but I want to be.

My biggest prayer for them is salvation. They know I love God, have Bible studies in the room, am a religion major, go to church, etc. But do they know it's the single most important thing to my identity? Do they know I couldn't live without my God? Do they know they can have Him too? I don't think so. I hope I can be the most real, peaceful, passionate picture of God they ever see, and THAT is the only thing keeping me going on this journey of dorm life.

I am changing.

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