Two Weeks Down,

Six to go. My infrequent blogging is the result of frequent thunderstorms, power outages, and unavailable computers. Apologies. It has been a major source of frustration for me this week. Maybe the Lord is forcing me to rely on the relationships I have here instead of the ones at home. Because I have to have honest relationships...if there's nothing else I've learned from this experience, it's the necessity of the presence of the Body of Christ around me. And no matter how much is seems like the Body of Christ is across the ocean, it's actually very present right here as well.

I'll be honest, it has been a difficult week. I am hungry for home. I tried not to start a countdown, but I gave in (43 days). I go through moments of every emotion, but I know I'm here for a reason. It feels insignificant sometimes that I'm here. I spend a lot of time just talking with people in my broken Russian and their broken English. I spend a lot of time just playing with the kiddos (I'm living in a household with three right now - 11, 5, and 7 mo. They love to come in my room and just play, talk, laugh, and learn.) I spend a lot of time drinking tea and eating. So the majority of my actions are not obviously "missions," not drastically changing people or saving souls. They are understated, just living among these people and allowing myself to be embarrassed, make mistakes, dislike the culture (or occasionally like it :) ) My prayer is that the Lord would change me and the people around me during my time here, even in ways that are not evident to us. I am finding myself more broken and more aware of my sin and selfishness and smallness every day, which is grace because it pushes me to Him.

I had a dream last night that I came home and forgot Russian right away, and I was sad. So when I get home, I'm going to want to speak Russian to all of you, ok??

My stomach is unhappy often, a result of the food I'm not used to eating. And my skin in allergic to Russia apparently, because some sort of irritation is taking over my face. My clean clothes smell like mold and my dirty clothes smell like fish. And I'm constantly tired.

So praise the Lord! I'm uncomfortable!! Something rarely experienced by us in the US of A, am i right? What grace from God these things are. They point me to heaven and to the things that really matter - people, relationships, prayer, Scripture. Some nights they are the only things that keep me going, and that, my friends, is something to praise God for.

He is taking away my false sense of security and self-reliance.

I wish I could show you the little moments Christ tells me "IGBOK." Like the night the power went out and we sat at the kitchen table - Tanya, Slavik, Karina, Rusik, Timothy, and me - singing worship songs in Russian and English as Slavik played guitar to the candlelight.

Or the day I couldn't stop crying and Tanya came and talked to me in the Russian words I understand (approx. 1/86 of the language probably) telling me about life there, about culture, about what I miss and what I want and what God wants.

Or the other day when I went to the orphanage and two of the girls ran up and hugged me. These kids don't talk to me or look me in the eye. But the other day two of them hugged me.

Or when we pray in circles - the Russians, the Germans, the Dutch, the Karachai, and the American - in our languages. I look forward to the day when "God will give them a pure speech that they may worship Him in one accord" (Zephaniah), but for now it's super cool to worship Him in the languages we know. Yesterday I was driving with Din and Inna, and we said John 3:16 in our native languages - English, Karachai, and Russian. Beautiful.

There are more, but I have to go. Thank you for your prayers. Hopefully next week i will have a more consistent internet connection to update you better on ways to pray for me. For now just pray for significance, that the toil and frustration of these days will turn into joy and dancing. Its all for Him.